God's Not Done

Picture yourself at a party.

As you’re talking to people, you glance over at the movement you see in the hallway.

It’s Jesus.

And He’s looking at you.

What’s His expression?

Is He smiling?

Is He shaking His head in disapproval?

Is He making His way over to lovingly embrace you?

Is He rolling His eyes at you, recounting your sin?

Is He with a blank stare as if He doesn't know you?

Is He staying distant or is He coming close?

While this is obviously imaginative, a lot can be said about how we view ourselves when we recognize, not only how we think of God, but also how we think He sees us. Some say that we cannot know ourselves rightly unless we know God truly— and I think they’re right.

Who are we if we are not fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator?

Who are we if we are not fully saved by the grace of our Savior?

What strength do we really have if we are not sustained by the Holy Spirit?

What if we aren’t worth more than many sparrows to our Father?

What if something could separate us from the love of God?

That would be terrible.

Yet, I oftentimes live as though these what-if questions are true. If I’m not fearfully and wonderfully made, then I have reason to be insecure. If I’m not fully saved by grace, then I must continue to strive, hoping that I’ll eventually deserve salvation. If I don’t have the Holy Spirit’s help, then I have to lean on my own understanding.

If I’m not valuable to God, then I must go find my value elsewhere, such as in my work or passions or social status or likes on Instagram. If I can be separated from the love of God, then I must keep myself from going to Him when I mess up— which is often.

Hopefully you can imagine how different these responses would be-- in the best way-- if we did take God at His Word, not only believing it in our minds but allowing it to permeate our hearts... so much so that we live each day differently because of it. There must be a reason that Jesus promises abundant life when we know Him.

This week, I went to a ministry’s call center where the mission is two-fold. First, we pray for select young women who are being solicited online. Then, our team lead calls them to offer prayer, as well as resources to leave the life of prostitution. I prayed fervently for these women to be set free by the Son, to be healed by the comfort of the Holy Spirit, to be confident of the unconditional love that the Father has for them. I wanted grace and truth to be evident in the conversations we were able to have, no matter how brief. And I was so sure that God could-- and wants to-- meet these women where they're at regardless of how messy.

And yet it seems as if I doubt that God will do that for me-- that He would actually run toward me when I come to Him just as the father did for the prodigal son.

There are many aspects of the parable of the prodigal son that I find so amazing. One being the pharisee-like response of the older brother who was frustrated with his father for being so lavishly graceful to such an undeserving fool as his younger brother. The boy had done nothing good for his father, plundered everything, and came home with empty arms that were ready to be used for working amongst the hired servants. God knows that I don't necessarily resonate with the younger brother but if there were ever a church skit of this parable, I better be the one to get the older brother role. I was in-character for that much longer than is easy to admit. Timothy Keller describes the danger of the older brother's heart motive so well:

“You can avoid Jesus as Savior by keeping all the moral laws. If you do that, then you have “rights.” God owes you answered prayers, and a good life, and a ticket to heaven when you die. You don’t need a Savior who pardons you by free grace, for you are your own Savior.”

This describes the older brother... and me... though I probably wouldn't be so quick to describe my spiritual depravity and hypocrisy so bluntly; I'm good at deceiving myself though.

What I also find so amazing is that the act of running in the cultural context of the prodigal son was utterly shameful; it’s just not what you’d do if you’re trying to avoid the sneers and strong judgements of others. But that’s what our heavenly Father willingly does for us through Jesus's death and resurrection. On that wooden cross, He took on the entirety of our guilt and shame as God's redeemed sons and daughters, never asking for us to carry it again.

I somehow have rejected this good gift for awhile. It’s as if I had internally said,

“God, I’ll be your daughter but the shame thing-- no worries-- I can keep that so that you don’t have to see it. Or hopefully know about it.” I laugh at myself now for thinking that such is manageable or even humanly possible. For where can we go that He is not? We can't escape His presence. And this is good. (Psalm 139:7-12) I have found there to be immense healing in honesty and confession as promised.

As I consider what my response would be if, at the call center, a woman was on the other line and told us of all that she was ashamed of, I know that I would not have disdain or disgust toward her. If anything, I would want her to stop carrying that which is holding her back from coming to God and expressing her need for Him. Yet how slow I am to admitting my need and being totally vulnerable with the One who knows the words on my tongue before I speak them. (Psalm 139:4) I allow the stubbornness of my heart and the denial of the full offense that my sin is to God, to keep me from drawing near to Him.

The reality is that it isn’t my good works or my facade or my ministry that God needs. He actually doesn’t need anything at all from me ever. (Acts 17:25) This makes it all the more precious how much God decides that He wants me. And He absolutely wants you too.

So, what about you? Have you ever believed the lie that God is so disappointed, so weary, so done with you?

God’s not done with you. In the past few weeks those words have been coming out of my mouth in times that I least expect it. When I have been so anxious or worried or stressed about something that I could be at total ease about if only I remembered whose I am, I am reminded: God's not done.

The one who influences you most may just be yourself. You talk to yourself all day long don’t you? So what is it that you tell yourself about yourself? And more importantly, about God?

Is He your good Father and are you His delighted-in son or daughter? Does He mean it when He says that He'll be faithful, never leaving you or forsaking you? Don’t forget it; remind yourself of this truth daily. I, for one, am quick to forget it.

---

“... the weight of anxiety is the soul’s misapprehension. It is the thinking of people who see themselves as orphaned. Such anxiety is the anguished cry of a soul that has forgotten it has a Father in heaven.” - John Koesller

---

And, "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:18

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17