Control is Costly

What I Learned from Refugees

I am ten days into a spring break trip to Lesvos, Greece. I have met many beautiful, hospitable, resilient refugees from the Middle East and Northern Africa on this island, and they have brought me face to face with a counterfeit god named Control.

She used to tell me that if I don’t cling to her, Fear and Uncertainty will come and inhabit my heart. Yet even when I do hold onto her tightly, the others still make their way to me. Anxiety comes right with them and always overstays. She takes up a lot of space in my mind and heart as she whispers innumerable “what-ifs” and “if-only”s.

But I am starting to see that she makes me pay for what I cannot afford--

the inability to hear the Holy Spirit's voice, nor the desire to enter God's presence.

I then become estranged from:

Confidence,

"Wait for and confidently expect the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Goodness,

"Surely goodness and mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell forever [throughout all my days] in the house and in the presence of the Lord." Psalm 23:6

Joy,

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

Trust,

"Trust [rely on and have confidence] in the Lord and do good;Dwell in the land and feed [securely] on His faithfulness." Psalm 37:3

Constancy,

"The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the thoughts and plans of His heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11

Sage,

"Blessed [with wisdom and prosperity] is the man whom you discipline and instruct, O LORD, and whom You teach from Your law." Psalm 94:12

Sleep,

"I lay down and slept [safely]; I awakened, for the Lord sustains me." Psalm 3:5

and Peace.

"In peace [and with a tranquil heart] I will both lie down and sleep. For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety and confident trust." Psalm 4:8

I leave these guys for what is not real-- for what is faint and fleeting, chipped and cheap. I begin to listen to Insecurity’s lies and sing along with Scarcity’s chorus.

I become incapable of being present with people, unwilling to empathize as I stare inward. I become impatient, forgetting how slow to anger and rich in love God is toward me. I worry about what is not yet and regret what has been. I am everywhere but where God wants me to be: here.

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When i see a Refugee

For eight hours a day my team has been knocking on crowded, leaking tents to help take census and ask families to rehouse without knowing their language, causing a constant shuffling of people and possessions while they wait for whatever and wherever is next.

And when they answer with a big smile or a weary, confused look-- or both-- I remember once more that I have no idea what these people have experienced.

I cannot tell them where they will go beyond Greece, and neither can they.

All that I know is that there is an image bearer before me. And all that I can do is complete the task at hand, to love well the soul in front of me with open hands.

I could leave the line above as it is--- to let it sound like I am having one Mother Teresa moment after the next.

No way.

I've had frustrated fathers yell at me. I've wiped more than enough babies' runny noses. I've walked through rivers of open sewage. I've watched deaf people argue in their own silent dialect.

So maybe this isn't the white and blue Pinterest version of Greece. Maybe it's more like I'm spending my days in a makeshift Afghanistan. I'll never forget where these mothers are having to give birth. But there is the gift of new life. I've never breathed in some of the stenches that I have here. But there are children beside me laughing, helping pick up the trash. There is undoubtedly beauty to be found.

Control can go back to where she belongs-- God's hands, not mine.

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When i Hear "Refugee"

Before coming here, the term "refugee" was something I thought I understood.

To be blunt, media taught me that they were mostly terrorists who were trying to move where they don't belong. They're kind of like immigrants but more dangerous.

No, an immigrant moves in hopes of having a better life. A refugee (oftentimes forcibly) flees what he or she knows in hopes of staying alive.

Everyone that I have been able to ask, whether they are with family or alone,

said that they would choose to be back in their home countries if it weren't for religious persecution, war, or violence.

I so wish that everyone had the opportunity to sit down and have tea with those the media portrays in such negative light. I think that a multitude of myths would be dispelled. Not all of them are terrorists-- but even if they were, Jesus has so clearly called us to do what for our enemies?

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*** On a total side note and as a last thought: I feel very much reaffirmed in my desire to work with foster youth and/or victims of sex trafficking, seeing how I was able to handle the trauma here in comparison to the contexts of volunteer work I do with at-risk populations back in the States.

Thank you for reading my post! I'm praying for you.